Best of 9: Finding Happiness In A Job You Hate

Do you feel stuck in a job that you hate?

Maybe you feel like, “If I just get the new job, then I’ll be happy,” or “When I get this next raise, I’ll feel more accomplished.”

Or, you have a great job, a nice salary, or excellent benefits but feel guilty for wanting to leave all that behind. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: your circumstances don’t determine how you feel; your thoughts do. So, how can you find happiness exactly where you’re at right now?

In this episode, I give you permission to release the belief that something has to make you unhappy for you to want to change.

And if something makes you unhappy, it's time to look at what thoughts create that unhappiness and how to change them.

But first, say it with me: WANTING A CHANGE DOES NOT MAKE ME UNGRATEFUL.

It's okay to want to change your situation, but it's important to acknowledge and discover what you truly want.

Happiness is not going to come from outside of you, from changing your situation to obtain the next best thing.

Don’t run from a job you hate into another one you’ll be miserable in just because the grass looked greener from your old office window.

Tune into this week’s episode to learn how to find more happiness with where you’re currently at… even if you still want something different for your future.

It’s time to take responsibility for your emotions and ask yourself, “How can I see this differently?”


Resources:

UPDATE: Lindsay no longer offers free coaching calls, but you can apply for private coaching here: http://lindsayhanson.com/apply

Chapters

• 1:20 How to find happiness in a job you hate
• 2:32 The happiness trap
• 5:06 Make a decision from a place of happiness
• 12:00 The importance of taking control of one's emotions and thoughts
• 14:29 Expressing gratitude and self-pride

Transcript

[00:00:56] Hello, my friend. Happy Monday. So, today we're talking about something that is so, so important, and that is how to find happiness while you are still in a job you hate. You can't quit your job right now for whatever reason. Maybe you're you; you started your side hustle and are working on building up your business.

[00:01:20] You're still working in a job that you don't love full-time, whatever the situation is. How can you find happiness exactly where you're at right now? And today I'm going to do something really annoying. I'm going to ask you to take responsibility for your emotions. Okay. I was doing a training on this last week, and one of the girls in the training commented, and she said I hate when I'm forced to take responsibility for my emotions and thoughts.

[00:01:55] And I'm like, girl, I feel you. Our ego doesn't want to take responsibility. Our ego wants to blame everything outside of ourselves for why we're feeling the way we're feeling. Right? I feel like shit because my job sucks and my work environment is toxic, my boss is evil, and everything is stressful, and therefore, I feel like shit.

[00:02:16] But the truth is, as we have learned, your circumstances don't determine how you feel. Your thoughts do, and it's all about your perspective, and it's all about your mindset, and it's all about the thoughts that you are having, and you are in control of that. So, therefore, you are in control of your emotions.

[00:02:35] But as long as you don't take back that power and take back that responsibility over how you feel, you're going to be a victim of your circumstance, and you're going to continue feeling miserable. And continue searching for something outside of you to make you happy, but it's not how it works, and I like to call this the happiness trap.

[00:03:01] So we always tend to think that once something happens, once we get to another place, once we quit our job, once we're in our dream job, once we lose the weight, once we find the right relationship, once we are in our dream house, once we have more money, once we move to the place we want to live in, whatever it is, we always think once the thing happens, then I'll be happy.

[00:03:28] Then I'll feel happy. Then I'll feel fulfilled. Then I get to be happy, right? But the truth is you get to be happy right now, and we can fall into this trap and this endless cycle of searching for happiness outside of us and waiting to feel happy until our situation changes. And it just sounds like a whole bunch of unnecessary misery.

[00:03:54] I want to teach you how to break that cycle. And something else that I think is really important to point out is: you can be happy in your current job and still want to change. Still, want to quit your job and do something else? This applies to anything. You can be happy with where you're living and still wanna move somewhere new.

[00:04:19] You can be happy in your relationship and still want to end that relationship and date someone else or be single like you're allowed to be happy where you're at, but still want something different. And I think we have this idea that if we change something, it has to be because it is making us unhappy or that there's some sort of problem, and I think it's based on this idea that if we're happy, we should just be grateful, right?

[00:04:54] We should just be grateful that we have a good, stable job that pays us well and has great benefits, and we should just be grateful for that and not wanna change it. And so there's this idea that if we're happy where we are right now, then wanting to change our situation would make us ungrateful and unappreciative.

[00:05:17] But that's not true. It does not have to be that way. And then I think, you know, if that's a belief that you're holding onto, then, of course, you're not going to let yourself be happy where you're at right now because then you're going to make it mean that you're ungrateful when you want to make a change. Does that make sense?

[00:05:34] So, I want to point that out because that might be an underlying belief and story that you are holding onto, and I just am giving you permission to release that shit that is not true. You are allowed to be happy in the job you have right now and still want something different for yourself, and that does not make you ungrateful.

[00:06:00] Okay. And it's really important to get to a place where you're happy where you're at right now. Okay? Here's why this is so important. You want to decide on your career by following what you want and what you love, not running away from something you hate.

[00:06:21] And running away from something you think is making you miserable and falling into that happiness trap of, well, once my situation changes, I'll be happy. Once I'm working fewer hours and I have more work-life balance, then I'll be happy. Once I leave this toxic environment, then I'll be happy because I've seen so many people who leave their job from that place of "I hate it here. The environment is miserable. I don't like the people I'm working with, but I'll be happy once I'm in a new job." And then they get into the new job, and six months later, they feel stuck again because it's still not the job they actually want because they didn't take the time to figure out and get clear on what they actually want.

[00:07:02] They were just running away from something that they hated. And you're never going to find happiness that way because happiness was never outside of you in the first place. Happiness is never after your situation changes after the next thing, after the next job. It was always within your control the whole time.

[00:07:24] And it's important for you to get to a place of feeling happy in your current job, or at least a place of understanding that you could get to a place of being happy in your job. We're getting a bit meta here, but as long as you understand that it's not your job that creates your happiness, you create your happiness.

[00:07:48] And so whether you are in this job or in a different job, knowing that you can be happy either way, making a decision from that place. It was like knowing that I could choose to do the thought work, the internal work, or the mindset work. Get to a place where I'm fully happy and fulfilled as an accountant, knowing that's an option, and then knowing I could feel equally happy and fulfilled as a fitness coach; which one do I want?

[00:08:21] That's where that decision was coming from. So rather than asking yourself, what job will make me happy, ask yourself. Okay, knowing I can be happy, no matter what I'm doing, what do I want? What do I feel called to do? What feels aligned and abundant, and expansive for me? What sounds like an experience that I want to have? What sounds like more fun?

[00:08:49] We think that when we're making these big, serious decisions about our career or these major life decisions, that it has to be so serious and so well thought out. And we have to factor in every little detail and make sure we've thought everything through. But what if it gets as easy as 'what sounds more fun?'

[00:09:11] I'm giving you permission to release all that shit. All those stories and the pressure you're putting on yourself and everything you're holding onto are making you feel super stressed out and feel like shit. Okay, so how do you actually go about getting to a place of feeling happy in a job you hate right now?

[00:09:35] So, going back to the model, which I explained a few weeks ago, so go back and listen to that episode about the thought work model if you haven't yet. But from the model, we know that your circumstances don't determine your emotions. Your thoughts do, right? And so the truth is your boss isn't evil, your job isn't stressful, and your work environment isn't toxic.

[00:10:01] Those are not objectively true facts. Those are your thoughts about the situation, but we often internalize that, and we think that it's just objectively true that our boss is evil and that our job is stressful. Busy season is just stressful. That's just the way it is. Our work environment is toxic.

[00:10:24] That's just the way it is. But again, I will ask you to take responsibility for your emotions and thoughts here. Recognize that that is your view of the situation. That is not the objective truth about what's going on. Is it ultimately true that your job is stressful, that your job has to be stressful?

[00:10:48] That busy season has to be stressful. Is that true? No, because you're in control of how you're thinking about it, how you're feeling about it, and how you experience the busy season. And you can change your thoughts from stressful to not stressful and experience the busy season in a much less stressful way.

[00:11:08] If that's blowing your mind and confusing you, go back and listen to the episode I did. It might have been the same episode where I went over the thought work model, but I also went in depth about work stress and how to not feel stressed out during the busy season. It is a matter of changing the way you think about it and asking yourself, how can I see this differently?

[00:11:33] How can I think about this differently? How can I react and respond to my boss differently? How can I respond to my work environment differently so it doesn't feel so toxic? Because when you say things like, 'Oh, my boss is evil, my job is stressful. My work environment is so toxic.' You're giving the circumstance the power to control your emotions, but we get to take back that power.

[00:12:00] We get to take back that control, and it's so natural, and it's so much easier, sometimes, to allow ourselves to slip into that negative emotion and blame our situation. But as long as you're blaming something outside of you for how you feel, you're giving up your power. And I don't say that to be derogatory and be like, why are you blaming something outside of you?

[00:12:26] This is, it's your fault. You feel this way. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. Rather, to empower you, to help you realize that you truly have the power to decide how you want to feel. You have the power to decide how you experience your current situation. You have the power to choose happiness right now, no matter what your situation looks like, and you don't have to wait until you find the perfect job, find the perfect man, or lose weight to feel happy.

[00:12:58] You get to feel happy now. You get to feel happy now. So I'm going to keep this one short and sweet, and I hope that this was helpful for you and helped you to see things from a new perspective. If this is blowing your mind, you're like, 'Okay, I understand that this is within my control, but how do I actually make this happen? How do I change my thoughts when you want to help apply this to your own situation? I'm leaving a link in the show notes where you can book a free de-stress session. This is a free coaching call that you can book with me to help you apply this to your own life. If you're experiencing a lot of stress at work, if you're feeling stuck in a job that you hate and feel like you're in a toxic environment, you're in a stressful environment and want to take back your control.

[00:13:50] You can click the link in the show notes or go to lindsayhanson.com/destress to book a free call. All right, my love. I hope you have an amazing week. I appreciate you so much for tuning in and listening. I just want to acknowledge you for showing up for yourself today and committing to up-leveling your life and this personal development journey.

[00:14:19] Applying these concepts to your life, mindset, and career so that you can experience more happiness, joy, and fulfillment in your life. Okay? You get to be proud of yourself for that. You get to be happy now, and you get to be proud of yourself now. Okay? I love it. If you love this episode, I would appreciate it if you hopped onto Apple Podcast and left a review so that other listeners can know what they're getting themselves into and how amazing and mind-blowing all of this content is. I would also love it. I always love when you guys post a screenshot on your Instagram story, tag me, and show me that you're listening.

[00:15:05] It's like my favorite thing in the whole world. I just love you and appreciate you so much. All righty. Have an amazing Monday. Have an amazing week. And I'll talk to you in the next episode.